Lately, I've been having a hard time figuring out where I want to go with this blog. I've almost felt inauthentic as of late. While I love fashion, my crafts, and of course my cats, I don't feel like I've exactly been representing myself as I am or what I truly do with my life.
You see, I spend my days working a morbid desk job, commute home to cook dinner with my boyfriend (all the while being miserable with our tiny 600 square foot apartment and sliver of counter space) eat, shower, and knit while we watch a movie. Really, that's my typical day. And while I aspire to do so much more, it's quite frankly, exhausting and I just want to curl up in bed by 9PM to sleep the night away and start all over again the next day. Every day I wish I had that extra bit of energy to dust this, reorganize that, have ridiculous make overs of said tiny apartment, and it just isn't realistic. We live on a strict budget, like most people in this economy, and the weight of it can feel overwhelming.
Do I want to do it all? Heck yes. Who doesn't, if we're being serious? But looking at these other bloggers, I feel like I'm wasting my life away. Here they are, seemingly able to complete all of these impossible tasks and I feel like I don't do a single thing. Maybe I'm just lazy or selfish for wanting "down time" or maybe I just don't understand true time management; any of these things are possible. But honestly, I have to keep in mind that I work a full time job, I put meaningful effort into my relationship, and I have to set aside time for myself in order to stay sane. I have to "pamper" myself a bit every night watching something like New Girl and knitting to unwind from the whirlwind of the days to go. And I do still get pains from my pneumonia back in April, so I just have to take it a little easier than I used to.
We're getting ready to move soon, so I think I'm going to be using this time during the ridiculously hectic holidays to find myself, reorganize, and start anew on all fronts. A new place to live, a new year, and new outlook on life and all things good. Things may change around here a bit, focusing more on my crafts and new home, and I'd like to be a little more open about myself and the things I'm doing with you all. To do all this though, I need to take some time for myself. In the meantime, you can find me and many cat pictures on my instagram or twitter.
I'll be back with the new year for a fresh start.